Wagner's MBA Law of The Glass Always Being Full

Wagner's MBA Law of The Glass Always Being Full: The glass is always full with effluent ambient gasses, unless you're holding it in a vacuum. Nerd alert. Just had to say that... wink emoticon NB: This "law" addresses an English Language idiom that refers to reinterpreting one's circumstances from negative to positive, when it seems that we have only half or part of what we think we need: "The glass is not half empty; it is half full." My opinion is that "the glass is always full" with regard to one's circumstances because I am an optimist and we often tend toward misinterpreting God's blessings. And, in fact, the glass is always full, unless you are in a vacuum.

Wagner's MBA Law of The Glass Always Being Full

Wagner's MBA Law of The Glass Always Being Full: The glass is always full with effluent ambient gasses, unless you're holding it in a vacuum. Nerd alert. Just had to say that... wink emoticon NB: This "law" addresses an English Language idiom that refers to reinterpreting one's circumstances from negative to positive, when it seems that we have only half or part of what we think we need: "The glass is not half empty; it is half full." My opinion is that "the glass is always full" with regard to one's circumstances because I am an optimist and we often tend toward misinterpreting God's blessings. And, in fact, the glass is always full, unless you are in a vacuum.

Wagner's MBA Law of Ending Friendships

Wagner's MBA Law of Ending Friendships: People who end friendships by withdrawing communication or "stating you're not my friend anymore" are "weird" and sociopathic, and I haven't seen any exceptions. Tell me about the last person you "unfriended" on Facebook is going to be one of my new questions during a mental status exam.

Wagner's MBA Law of Community Organizers

Wagner's MBA Law of Community Organizers: Community organizers tend to find a flock of sheep for whom to advocate, sometimes with good intent, and then to herd and to fleece them too, as expediency dictates.

Wagner's MBA Law of Overhead Bin Storage in Airplanes

Wagner's MBA Law of Overhead Bin Storage in Airplanes: Given normal gravity, your carryon bag will often fit if you turn it upside down, with the rigid side up (i.e., wheels up) and the soft side down. Gravity compresses the bag. Plus there is often a dip in the bin that is not otherwise filled. Gravity will make it fit; this seems perfectly obvious, but passengers and flight attendants often seem grateful when I share the information.

Wagner's MBA Law of Astronaut Selection for Interstellar Travel and Colonization

Wagner's MBA Law of Astronaut Selection for Interstellar Travel and Colonization: ATTENTION: LADIES WANTED FOR CAREERS IN SPACE... Interstellar Travel will be the domain of young children and females of child bearing age, not men with larger body masses and limited reproductive utility. SORRY GUYS! Ladies will rule the interstellar distances! Consider the problem to be solved in the recent movie Interstellar: Perpetuation of the Human Species... and consider that it currently costs about $10,000 to put 1lb. into orbit and that a typical female weighs 75%, or less, and children far less, of a typical adult male. Adult males require more Food Kcals, H2O, and Oxygen on a long voyage and any advantage of strength and desire to watch televised sports would be unnecessary... wink emoticon Why burn all the propellant to accelerate larger men and all their supplies to approach the speed of light? In the Interstellar movie, why did the guys saving the Earth want to send 12 probes of mostly men into the black hole to check out the 12 potential planets? Instead, they should have sent 12 teams of 3 females each (with frozen sperm and eggs) and... PROBLEM SOLVED... Human Species Perpetuated...! You're welcome, Earth!

Wagner's MBA Law of Being an Online/Adjunct Professor

Wagner's MBA Law of Being an Online/Adjunct Professor: Being an online and adjunct University instructor is sometimes sort of like the movie Alien: In [cyber]space no one can hear you scream.

Wagner's MBA Law of the Late Hotel Check Out

Wagner's MBA Law of the Late Hotel Check Out: _Yes_!

Wagner's MBA Law of Narcissism in For-Profit Higher Education

Wagner's MBA Law of Narcissism in For-Profit Higher Education: For-profit higher education must be operated at a profit, but do we really need all these soul-less vampires who know nothing about teaching and research? In the past, the not-for-profit university was a haven for narcissists, but, now, do we really want "dumb narcissists" at the university, too? Smart narcissists, at least, are smart, and smartness is a useful byproduct. However, dumb narcissists miss the whole point of higher education and narcissism; dumbness is readily available on a random street corner. Can't dumb narcissists just stay in politics? Give me a break!

Wagner's MBA Law of Seeing the Big Picture

Wagner's MBA Law of Seeing the Big Picture: Look for the big picture, because, well, it is larger and has more utility. A larger context of an event or your actions always exists, and people are the wiser for setting those actions in a larger context, and the juxtaposition with the smaller picture is often instructive.

Wagner's MBA Law of Finishing

Wagner's MBA Law of Finishing: In normal space and time, finishing comes after starting; if you are not finished, perhaps you have not started? Recently, I had a discussion with someone who had expended moderate effort toward blocking the start of a project and then wondered when the project would be finished. I suggested that we focus our wonderment around the project start. Start, then finish...!

Wagner's MBA Law of Teaching

Wagner's MBA Law of Teaching: I teach; therefore I am, but I am what I learn... teaching starts with learning.

Wagner's MBA Law of Printing and Faxing Electronic Documents

Wagner's MBA Law of Printing and Faxing Electronic Documents: This is ridiculous! I'm not kidding this time. wink emoticon Please never ask me to print and then Fax a page to you. I don't know anyone who still owns a working printer or Fax machine. Why don't you just ask me to churn butter? 1 quart cream, 2 lbs. ice, and a butter churn. Wait. Let's find a museum. I saw Grandma send a Fax and churn butter. Perhaps I can remember? LOL.

Wagner's MBA Law of Littering

Wagner's MBA Law of Littering: Litter begats litter. Once people see litter, they tend to litter more than they would otherwise litter. Pick up litter as soon as you see it. Visible litter creates a social context that presumes acceptability of littering. A randomly selected individual's attitude toward littering is unfavorable in the absence of visible litter, but grows as the littered area grows, ceteris paribus.

Wagner's MBA Laws of Denver Broncos Football

Wagner's MBA Laws of Denver Broncos Football: 1. A season in motion tends to remain in motion unless acted upon by a random loss, and season at rest tends to remain at rest unless acted upon by a random win; 2. Positive season momentum is produced when the most recent win is judged bigger than the sum of the total season losses; 3. For every first down there is an equal and opposite penalty; 4. When they must win, they can't win, when they don't need to win, they often win, and when they can't lose, they somehow manage to lose.

Wagner's MBA Law of Swatting Flies

Wagner's MBA Law of Swatting Flies: Swat the fly from the front to back, nose to tail, as they always take flight in the direction the nose is pointing. They will fly into the fly swatter. You (usually) can't miss. Trust me. In one of life's random experiences, I once had the opportunity to swat hundreds of flies in a 24-hour time period, and made one of my observations, as I often do. Science, Baby! LOL

Wagner's MBA Law of Ebola Virus Panics

Wagner's MBA Law of Ebola Virus Panics: As I presume that I won't win the lottery tomorrow, I presume also that I won't contract the Ebola Virus; both events are highly improbable but not impossible. Instead, everyone should be thinking about shopping for my birthday tomorrow, wink emoticon and, yes, I turn ZERO years old, as I try to live each day as a new human being, savoring each day that God has granted me for helping someone and for learning new things... Xin chao qui vi!

Wagner's MBA Law of Thinking and Behaving

Wagner's MBA Law of Thinking and Behaving: You are what you think, or you will behave and become like that soon; so think big, positive, and kindly toward your fellow humankind.

Wagner's MBA Law of Apocalyptic Prophecies

Wagner's MBA Law of Apocalyptic Prophecies: Doomsday Prophecies present daily, finite, and manageable concerns up to the day I die and not extending beyond that day, at least for me, personally. Likewise, group concern for the apocalypse could be estimated as daily concern times the number of individuals in the group times the remaining days of life expectancy. In sum, don't worry and each day help one another.

Wagner's MBA Law of Presidential Poker

Wagner's MBA Law of Presidential Poker: My President (i.e., P.B.O.) doesn't know anything about poker; I would love to play poker with him because he doesn't know how to bluff and then he tells you exactly what he is going to do, so you can avoid him. And, he asks the American Public for permission to do his job; this is making me crazy! Don't ask me if you should attack the "Beanie Babies" in Syria! Do it and then show me the bomb crater. You have the job of President! Stop asking for permission to do your job... Ridiculous! Sorry, that was impolite... I meant to say... That's ridiculous, Mr. President! Better.

Wagner's MBA Law of Fleeing Countries with Marxist-Themed Governments

Wagner's MBA Law of Fleeing Countries with Marxist-Themed Governments: It is the starvation, injustice, lack of freedom of speech, assembly, and religion, witchhunts, kangaroo courts, and re-education camps that are a huge hassle in Marxist themed governments... The communist party is no "party" at all. Like a Helen Reddy "The Vegas Years" Concert... Better to run for your life while you still can.

Wagner's MBA Law of Complaining about Presidential Orders to fight "The Power Rangers" in Syria and Iraq

Wagner's MBA Law of Complaining about Presidential Orders to fight "The Power Rangers" in Syria and Iraq: Complain if you must, but the pot-smoking peaceniks and cowards said the same thing during the war to defend South Vietnam against North Vietnam, China, and Russia combined... And we wonder why South Vietnam fell, when the U.S. Congress betrayed her and refused to live up to its agreement to defend her. Quit your whining and THANK GOD that you don't live in a Marxist regime, run by ugly men, wearing poorly tailored suits, with lots of guns!

Wagner's MBA Law of the "Friend Request Sent"

Wagner's MBA Law of the "Friend Request Sent": The longer a person waits to accept your friend request, the more they needed your friendship, given that you know the person online or otherwise outside of Facebook. Sometimes you give people a break and offer them their golden chance to know somebody important and interesting... As is in: "Wow, they seem lonely and socially repressed, and, look, they barely know how to use Facebook!" and they sit there thinking about it or snubbing you? Make me laugh! The longer they wait, the more evidence that they were the socially inept wallflower you originally concluded.

Wagner's MBA Laws of Working for an Incompetent Manager

Wagner's MBA Laws of Working for an Incompetent Manager: 1. Your incompetent manager knows they are incompetent and will try to use you to look good to their manager; 2. Your incompetent manager will push blame for failures in the department to you whenever possible because they have too few successes to balance; 3. Your incompetent manager will ultimately try to include you in their paranoid delusions of everybody being against them (of course, everybody is against them because they are incompetent!); 4. Trying to help your incompetent manager is impossible (nobody is that good, not even you, so don't think you're going to tough this out), like skydiving without a parachute: a fast ride down with an unpleasant final consequence; 5. Nobody wants to work for an incompetent manager, so your peers will leave in droves; 6. Your incompetent manager will mess up your performance evaluations (remember, they're incompetent!) and thus your career; 7. Your incompetent manager will try to ruin your reputation with their peers and other potential employers; 8. Your incompetent manager can't help you become better at your job, only worse!

Wagner's MBA Laws of Fighting Terrorism

Wagner's MBA Laws of Fighting Terrorism: 1. Terrorism is "brand-building" or a "fund-raising publicity event," so don't publicize the names or likenesses of the terrorists or their groups, ever; 2. Punish the terrorists swiftly and harshly, in case someone joins them or publicizes them; 3. Relax, take the morning off, and play a round of golf; 4. ALWAYS follow laws 1., 2., and 3. in that order... DON"T JUST GO PLAY GOLF! Vacation follows work!

Wagner's MBA Law of Haters

Wagner's MBA Law of Haters: "Haters gonna hate," until we show them how to love with our own good examples; haters need to _see_ a sermon rather than _hear_ a sermon.

Wagner's MBA Law of Helping Homeless People

Wagner's MBA Law of Helping Homeless People: Only people with homes have the resources to help the addicted or those struggling with clinically significant mental health traits, so how about quitting all your whining and helping our homeless friends, especially those with children? You could hire them to do some useful work and stop judging them. Stop waiting for federal, state, and local government to come up with some wasteful way to help our homeless friends. Enough already! He who has ears, let him hear!

Wagner's MBA Law of Living Next Door to Medical Marijuana Growers

Wagner's MBA Law of Living Next Door to Medical Marijuana Growers: You don't want to live near them, as they are often coping with other addictions and severe psychiatric traits. Mom accidentally rented to weed growers: 1. It looks like they slaughtered a goat in the weed-growing bedroom; 2. Kicked out the kitchen window screen to throw beer bottles directly in the yard; 3. Then they kicked out the deadbolt on the front door and posted on CraigsList to come steal everything, and we lost the dishwasher, shower heads, and part of the air conditioning system. frown emoticon P.S. We read in the newspaper today that the tenant was just arrested on Driving Under the Influence (DUI) charges... That's a shame.

Wagner's MBA Law of U.S. President's Serving in the Military

Wagner's MBA Law of U.S. President's Serving in the Military: "Mr. I Hate America" is more intimidated by a President who has served in the military.

Wagner's MBA Law of Wrigley's Extra Polar Ice Chewing Gum

Wagner's MBA Law of Wrigley's Extra Polar Ice Chewing Gum: This tastes like Vick's Vapo-Rub... I don't know what condition Vick's Vapo-Rub was treating nor why we need a gum that tastes like it... WILMA!

Wagner's MBA Law of Palestinian Leadership: Palestinian leaders care more about serving their Arab masters and hating their Israeli neighbors, than they care about protecting their own people; they crave power NOT peace.

Wagner's MBA Laws of Tyrannical Managers

Wagner's MBA Laws of Tyrannical Managers: 1. Tyrannical Managers keep you in the dark by telling you nothing or lies, while empowering managers educate you and coach you to succeed as much as possible; 2. Tyrannical Managers have large pet cemeteries as children and rapid turnover among staff as adults.

Wagner's MBA Law of Venture Capitalists

Wagner's MBA Law of Venture Capitalists: They talk like Edison, but they act like Rockefeller. You create a beautiful sculpture and they smash it into rubble to make roads... You have been warned!

Wagner's MBA Law of Choosing a Higher Power to Help Change Your Life

Wagner's MBA Law of Choosing a Higher Power to Help Change Your Life: Higher powers take you higher and lower powers take you lower... I've seen few examples to the contrary.

Wagner's MBA Law of Popularity

Wagner's MBA Law of Popularity: It pays to be friendly to everyone, because you never know how far and wide that encouragement will spread, and how that encouragement will come back to you. (I was asked why I supported Burma/Myanmar and not Vietnam is the 2014 Miss Asian American Pageant, even though I speak Vietnamese. It's simple: Lu Ann Shwe is a friendly and intelligent young lady who asked for my support, and the other candidates, whom I also know, did not ask for my support. American idiom: If you snooze, you lose!)

Wagner's MBA Law of Popular Music

Wagner's MBA Law of Popular Music: Popular Music lacks artistic merit, especially in the lyrics... and it isn't getting any better. pacman emoticon Who that, who that, I-G-G-Y... wink emoticon 1987 -- Michael Jackson: "You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad). You Know I'm Bad-You Know-Hoo! (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad). You Know I'm Bad-I'm Bad-You Know It, You Know (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)..." 2014 -- Iggy Azalea: "I'm so fancy. You already know. I'm in the fast lane. From L.A. to Tokyo. I'm so fancy. Can't you taste this gold? Remember my name. Bout to blow. Who that, who that, I-G-G-Y. That do that, do that, I-I-G-G-Y. Who that, who that, I-I-I-G-G-Y. Blow..."

Wagner's MBA Law of Mindfulness

Wagner's MBA Law of Mindfulness: Experience each moment as a unique adventure, because now keeps the past from becoming the future.

Wagner's MBA Law of Rule Formation and Promulgation

Wagner's MBA Law of Rule Formation and Promulgation: Rules follow usage yet defy the impractical. This is why you "_shouldn't tell your Grandmother how to milk mice_"... Doesn't Grandma already know what works and doesn't work so who are you tell her how to be frugal, etc. because she has been doing it since you were wearing diapers?

Wagner's MBA Law of Badminton

Wagner's MBA Law of Badminton: This sport is so awesome why is it not called "Goodminton"?

Wagner's MBA Law of High Self-Esteem

Wagner's MBA Law of High Self-Esteem: Try not to use high self-esteem as a replacement for healthy, fulfilling relationships, because being alone with high self-esteem is still being alone with high self-esteem.

Wagner's MBA Law of Art and Science

Wagner's MBA Law of Art and Science: The making of art requires scientific precision and the making of science requires an artist's conception, so it seems a fool's errand to divide them, when they are actually conjoined and symbiotic ways of thinking.

Wagner's MBA Law of 4-Wheel Drive Adventures

Wagner's MBA Law of 4-Wheel Drive Adventures: The best vehicle to take "4-Wheelin'" is always somebody else's vehicle...

Wagner's MBA Law of Marriage Counseling

Wagner's MBA Law of Marriage Counseling: If the husband and the wife are both encouraged to try to have an affair with each other, then neither will have time to have an affair with anyone else.

Wagner's MBA Law of David Lee Roth Music

Wagner's MBA Law of David Lee Roth Music: Nothing David Lee Roth ever recorded without Eddie and Alex Valen is worth listening to and not "classic," so please don't play it on Sirius XM Satellite Radio Classic Vinyl and say it is "classic," as I might start laughing uncontrollably and lose control of my car.

Wagner's MBA Law of Soccer Popularity in America

Wagner's MBA Law of Soccer Popularity in America: Americans don't like to watch soccer because it is as boring as watching a chess game, even when you scream "GOOOOOAL!!!" (See Wagner's General Law of Motivation: People tend to do what they want to do, if given long periods of time and they are not impeded by the social context or the laws of physics.)

Wagner's MBA Law of Threatening Terrorists

Wagner's MBA Law of Threatening Terrorists: For your "threat" to seem real, you must appear intimidating, convince the terrorists that you are not goofy or naive, and then deliver on your threats with sufficient force. Although terrorism is a publicity event, terrorists are not going to play some "Washington Word Game" with you through press releases. Prepare for a fight. These TERRORISTS ARE BAD MEN with criminal intent. And then if they won't run off like the cowardly dogs that they are and you are drawn into a fight, fight to win!

Wagner's MBA Law of Good Bureaucracies Killing Good Ideas

Wagner's MBA Law of Good Bureaucracies Killing Good Ideas: An effective bureaucracy is like a bullet proof vest made of Kevlar; multiple layers of people who can only say "no" can stop any nearly any idea no matter how powerful.

Wagner's MBA Law of the Death Prius

Wagner's MBA Law of the Death Prius: Other than motorcycles, the Toyota "Death Prius" is the most unpredictable vehicle on the road. While Prius drivers hold their head's high like "Starship Captains," the hybrid "Death Prius" often accelerates slowly, brakes slowly, merges defiantly, almost rear-ends you in heavy traffic, and silently creeps up on you while you walk in parking lots. If you are wondering who is at the nexus of traffic slowdowns on hills and inattentive behavior on the road, it is often a "Death Prius". Beware the Prius of Death!

Wagner's MBA Law of Calculus

Wagner's MBA Law of Calculus: If you master Calculus, the limits to your career possibilities will approach zero or the limits to your career possibilities will not exist, depending on how you look at it.

Wagner's MBA Law of Jury Duty Summons

Wagner's MBA Law of Jury Duty Summons: It would be hard to define a more wasteful and ineffective way to identify potential jurors than that used in Santa Clara County. Who reads postal mail? Who is impressed by form letter threats? Who wants the evidence to be weighed by people who couldn't escape jury duty? Why aren't jurors paid at least minimum wage to participate in some meaningful way? Who could design a more confusing and ridiculous automated jury telephone line?

Wagner's MBA Law of Ethnic Majority Politics and "Structural Racism"

Wagner's MBA Law of Ethnic Majority Politics and "Structural Racism": An Ethnic Majority Candidate can easily defeat an Ethnic Minority Candidate due to voter tendency to vote within their ethnicity, the larger majority voting block, the larger majority donor pool, the higher socio-economic status of the majority voting block, the lack of political action committees (PACs) to support the ethnic minority candidate/constituencies, advertising targeting issues within ethnic minority households with only one eligible voter, the need for the ethnic minority candidate to register minority voters to vote and explain their civic responsibilities, and the ability of the majority candidate to run a monolingual English campaign while the ethnic minority candidate must target non-English speaking minority voting block (s) with translators and multiple messages to appeal to their individual ethnicities. Hence, from a marketing perspective, the ethnic minority candidate from a small (e.g., 10%) ethnic minority has little chance of winning a majority vote in a election outside of an ethnic enclave, especially if local journalists support only the messages of the ethnic majority voters and fail to give equal coverage to the messages of the ethnic minority voters. I am ashamed of myself for not realizing this inequity in the past.

Wagner's MBA Law of the Unexpected Event

Wagner's MBA Law of the Unexpected Event: The unexpected event is unexpected, so don't worry too much before or after it happens. Surprise on I-680 above Fremont, CA! This morning a young deer (fawn) ran in front of the Batmobile, as I was traveling at _approximately the speed limit_ ... I missed the fawn by only one or two inches, but it reminded me of how unexpected the unexpected often is when it presents. How did I not run over this animal at this high speed? Did my guardian angel intercede? How could a young fawn come from the median and the shadows in such a well traveled stretch of 3 lane Interstate highway while the sun was just rising above the hills...?

Wagner's MBA Laws of Employers Stalking You on Facebook:

Wagner's MBA Laws of Employers Stalking You on Facebook: _Facebook Stalking by Employers_ is very common and is frequently discussed in a class that I teach. First, be careful what you post on Facebook and what you allow others to post or tag you in. Second, whenever someone tracks you on Facebook or the Web with intent to do you harm or even monitor you, this is a form of "stalking". Third, people within the organization who are given the task of stalking people on Facebook are not typically trained psychologists or even tech savvy; they are usually staff or managers with too much free time and not enough work to do. Finally, do you really want to work for an organization that is so unethical and bloated with excess personnel that they would waste time stalking you on Facebook? Probably not, as long as you have a job somewhere... IKR.

Wagner's MBA General Law of Ignorance

Wagner's General MBA Law of Ignorance: The Stronger the Ignorance, the Greater the Skill and Patience Required to Defeat It... Example: Sexism. Consider the Film Mrs Judo: Be Strong, Be Gentle, Be Beautiful. The story of the late Grandmaster of Judo, Keiko Fukuda, the first and only woman to attain the 10th degree black belt in the history of Judo.

Wagner's MBA Law of Dealing with Ignorant Groups of People

Wagner's MBA Law of Dealing with Ignorant Groups of People: Ignorant Groups are led by Ignorant Leaders (without exception) and Group Ignorance is the most destructive power in the known Universe. The ignorance of the group leaders is magnified by the power of group processes exponentially and ad infinitum, until ignorance explodes in all directions and in right angles from the point of ignorance, becoming the most destructive power in the known Universe. Ignorance at this astronomically-sized level must be handled with that classic Russian defense strategy: retreat to the Ural Mountains and pray for Winter (that is, handle the ignorance of the individual group members one by one, when the power of the presenting ignorance has been diffused in another group context. Or wait until the group leaders quit or are overthrone in a dramatic coup befitting a TV mini-series. See Wagner's Law of Dealing with Ignorant People.) Hence, if you want destroy beauty, truth, or justice, etc., entrust them to the hands of ignorant leaders of a group.

Wagner's MBA Law of Dealing with Ignorant People

Wagner's MBA Law of Dealing with Ignorant People: Sometimes you just have to give people the space to be ignorant, and help them anyway... hoping that some of the most aggressive ignorance will subside with time.

Wagner's MBA Law of Ethnic Politics

Wagner's MBA Law of Ethnic Politics: ELECTIONS ONLY HAVE A THIN VENEER OF FAIRNESS TO ETHNIC MINORITY CANDIDATES; Majority voters are at least 10 times more likely to vote for an equivalent candidate of their own ethnicity, citing familiarity and favorability, so an ethnic minority candidate must generate at least 10 times the amount of donations for advertising (from a much smaller group) and free publicity from news media to convince majority voters of their familiarity and favorability, which is a near impossibility! OK, perhaps it should say only "_5 times more likely to vote for candidate of their own ethnicity_"...

Wagner's MBA Law of Being a Super Hero like Superman

Wagner's MBA Law of Being a Super Hero like Superman: Other than using your powers for good and not for evil, the biggest challenges for you super heroes out there is to walk among average humans like me, not hurt them with your superpowers, and act normal.

Wagner's MBA Law of Hashtag Activism

Wagner's MBA Law of Hashtag Activism: Hashtag Activism (e.g., ‪#‎BringBackOurGirls‬) is a peaceful publicity tactic that countervails terrorism, a violent publicity tactic, and helps heal society by acknowledging and relieving the fear so coveted by the terrorists... plus it gives the terrorists something to read while they are being held in custody awaiting trial.

Wagner's MBA Law of Being a Missionary between Cultures

Wagner's MBA Law of Being a Missionary between Cultures: Just because the natives "cook you" and "eat you" doesn't mean that the message is wrong; instead, the natives may not like the message or they are really hungry.

Wagner's MBA Law of Hyphenating Names

Wagner's MBA Law of Hyphenating Names: If you must do this, it would be better to use the "+", rather than the "-", because you are adding names and families, and not subtracting strings, variables, names, or families. For example, Leviticus Smith+Jones, rather than Leviticus Smith-Jones, makes much more sense to the programmer inside my brain.

Wagner's MBA Law of Milking Mice

Wagner's MBA Law of Milking Mice: Don't try to tell your Grandmother how to milk mice! This is an old expression of my Grandmother Hise (i.e., her invention) that my Mother still says. It basically means to shut up, listen, and show respect to your elders, instead of lecturing them about things on which they are already experts, such as saving money or making the best of an unfavorable situation, etc.

Wagner's MBA Law of Denying Global Climate Change and Other Weather Forecasts

Wagner's MBA Law of Denying Global Climate Change and Other Weather Forecasts: There are too many variables involved over time. As soon as you can reliably predict the weather consistently for a single city and "micro-climate" (i.e., statistically beat a coin toss at 50/50) in a 7-day or greater forecast, then let's talk about 7-week, 7-year, 70-year, or forever "global climate" change forecasts.

Wagner's MBA Law of Dieting to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Wagner's MBA Law of Dieting to Improve Your Self-Esteem: The first step in dieting is to get rid of anyone from your life who is so negative as to make their affection/relationship conditional upon your current weight or supposed need to lose weight. This person should be a future Mr. ex- or Miss ex- person in your life. That is the fastest way to lose over 100+ unwanted pounds. And your self-esteem will improve!

Wagner's MBA Laws of Statistical Data Analysis

Wagner's MBA Laws of Statistical Data Analysis: 1. Life is multivariate, death is univariate, and bivariate analysis may be applicable to other relationships between two variables, depending on the strength of the argument and under special circumstances; 2. Beware of Greek letters and symbols bearing gifts, especially in bivariate relationships (see Wagner's Law #1)

Wagner's MBA Law of Hiking

Wagner's MBA Law of Hiking: Always go hiking with multiple individuals who can't run as fast as you, which could buy you valuable time in the event of a bear attack...

Wagner's MBA Law of Getting Lost

Wagner's MBA Law of Getting Lost: Never get lost in Malaysia...

Wagner's MBA Law of Finding Lost Things

Wagner's MBA Law of Finding Lost Things: Lost things are always in the last place you look, so try to look there first. Avoid looking in obvious places first, because lost things would have already been observed there by casual observers.

Wagner's MBA Laws of Survival

Wagner's MBA MBA Laws of Survival: You can go 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter (and a LOT less in the cold ocean), 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, and 3 months without being nagged...

Wagner's MBA Laws of Being Found

Wagner's MBA Laws of Being Found: 1. As soon as you realize that you are lost, try not to move further even if you are not sure when you became lost; 2. If you are separated from a larger group, they will claim that you are lost, when in fact, they were lost and you were trying to rescue them.

Wagner's MBA Law of Fake, Outsourced Parking Tickets that You Must Pay Online

Wagner's MBA Law of Fake, Outsourced Parking Tickets that You Must Pay Online: these annoying little things that you can get at shopping centers and college campuses are not real, the person who cited you is not an officer of any court for any governmental jurisdiction, and there is no due process of law. Ugh.

Wagner's MBA Law of the U.S.A. Giving Up Control of Internet

Wagner's MBA Law of the U.S.A. Giving Up Control of Internet: If you give up control of the Internet to anti-free speech, anti-Semitic, anti-feminist, anti-gay, anti-democracy, anti-Christian, and anti-Capitalist countries, the Internet will be less fun and useful. Just say no to President Obama giving up control of the Internet: write to president@whitehouse.gov Thanks!

Wagner's MBA Law of American Racism

Wagner's MBA Law of American Racism: As long as Whites dominate leadership positions in American business and politics (i.e., limited structural assimilation), and learning English well is required to advance economically in American Society, America will still "feel" like a "racist country" to non-Whites no matter how much we say that America is not a "racist country."

Wagner's MBA Law of Voting for Hope and Change

Wagner's MBA Law of Voting for Hope and Change: I prefer candidates to give me very specific, well-planned bad ideas, so I'm not fooled into voting for vague, poorly-planned bad ideas. For example, a "federal student loan program for cats to attend clown college" is an easy no, but "funny cats" is vague and harder to say no to... I mean who doesn't like funny cats?

Wagner's MBA Law of Working with Narcissists

Wagner's MBA Law of Working with Narcissists: Anything you can do to support a narcissist's fantasies of false uniqueness and above average importance will help your progress in the situation.

Wagner's MBA Law of Wikipedia

Wagner's MBA Law of Wikipedia: When the knowledge already published in book and electronic form is removed from Wikipedia, it contains the sum of all unimportant knowledge plus a very few important things that haven't been published yet. Hence, Wikipedia should only be referenced when no other reliable source is available. For example, Wikipedia is invaluable for resolving family disputes over the ages of celebrities appearing on ABC's Dancing with the Stars. (Revision: Wikipedia often provides a list of useful keywords for search in edited or peer reviewed online databases. The list of quoted/referenced sources can also be helpful. Wikipedia is best though of as an online discussion group, because nearly anyone can edit it. Wikipedia should not be considered an encyclopedia, because it has not been systematically edited by subject matter experts... Although some pages have been professionally edited. In sum, Wikipedia should rarely (if ever) be used as the solitary source for any academic or derivative manuscript.

Wagner's MBA Law of Treating Early Migraine Headaches

Wagner's MBA Law of Treating Early Migraine Headaches: Take two aspirin, drink a 32 oz. Cola Slurpee as fast as you can, take a short nap, and walk for 20 minutes... Aspirin, Caffeine, Sugar, Hydration, Coldness, Sleep and Light exercise could help your headache from getting worse (Short cut: take two aspirin, a tall glass of water, a 12 oz. regular coke, and a short nap) Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor and this is not medical advice.

Wagner's MBA Law of Belief in Bible Miracles

Wagner's MBA Law of Belief in Bible Miracles: The story of "Jonah in the Whale" is considered to be a miracle. And there are many other Bible miracles that can't be experimentally examined... If science can't replicate the conditions, then the statement can't be examined scientifically; yes, I realize that some people misunderstand scientific principles to stretch the truth to say that something that can't be examined scientifically is therefore falsified; but that ain't the truth. Important side note: we don't really believe things; we really believe people and that belief in people moderates our belief in almost everything. If you believe people who don't believe in the Bible, then you won't believe in the Bible, and vice versa.

Wagner's MBA Law of Repentance

Wagner's MBA Law of Repentance: Give Jesus a chance to save you by changing your behavior and following Him... if it doesn't work out, don't worry: Satan will always take you back.

Wagner's MBA Law of Measuring Cultural Competency toward Asian Customers

Wagner's MBA Law of Measuring Cultural Competency toward Asian Customers: if you can order a bowl of steamed, plain white rice from the menu (with no questions asked), the restaurant meets the minimum level of cultural competency toward Vietnamese and east Asian clients.

Wagner's MBA Law of Diplomacy with Russia

Wagner's MBA Law of Diplomacy with Russia: Russia only negotiates when a military solution to achieve their objectives is not possible. First, you must convince the Russians that you can maintain air superiority and stop their tanks on the ground, then like a common street gang, they will become "reasonable".

Wagner's MBA Law of Farming

Wagner's MBA Law of Farming: Friends are few at the time for digging and planting, but friends are many at the dinner table.

Wagner's MBA Law of Global Warming: Space is cold.

Wagner's MBA Law of Global Warming: Space is cold.

Wagner's MBA Law of Overconfidence

Wagner's MBA Law of Overconfidence: Ignorance and Overconfidence are like roommates who rarely fight over the last slice of pizza...

Wagner's MBA Law of Fighting Terrorism

Wagner's MBA Law of Fighting Terrorism: Terrorism is essentially brand building through event-based publicity and exploitation of the free press, so terrorist acts should only be reported long after the event and without specific mention of the group claiming responsibility.

Wagner's MBA Law of Man-Made Rules

Wagner's MBA Law of Man-Made Rules: Don't let man-made rules stop you from achieving... A rule is made to be broken by those whose who understand the reasons for the rule, and a rule is meant to be kept, especially, by those who don't understand the reasons for the rule. Break the rules! It is a necessity, within reason...

Wagner's MBA Law of High Altitude Jumps

Wagner's MBA Law of High Altitude Jumps: There is no reason to jump out of a perfectly good balloon or aircraft.

Wagner's MBA Law of Ignoring Obscure Media

Wagner's MBA Law of Ignoring Obscure Media (was Wagner's MBA Law of MSNBC): It does not matter enough to worry about, so focus on larger media outlets, first, before paying attention to broadcasts that are primarily watched by pets, etc. MSNBC's news broadcast outrages dozens of people everyday; it is like the local middle school's production of Rodgers & Hammerstein's Oklahoma... it doesn't matter how bad it is; the damage to the performing arts is minimal, because the audience is so small.

Wagner's MBA Law of Polar Bear Statistical Reasoning

Wagner's MBA Law of Polar Bear Statistical Reasoning: The polar bears realize they are probably experiencing local weather patterns, because at polar bear school they learned about units of analysis in statistics class, so they would not assume that a local phenomenon could be generalized to the entire globe.

Wagner's MBA Law of Marxism

Wagner's MBA Law of Marxism: Marxism is like an opera about why the inequity found in Capitalism is more efficient; some people take the opera seriously and demand Socialism, while other people just appreciate the impracticality of the underlying plot, and go buy something nice on credit.

Wagner's MBA Law of Justin Bieber News

Wagner's MBA Law of Justin Bieber News: There is nothing about Justin Bieber that I needed, need, or will need to know. Please make it stop. Just say NO to Justin Bieber publicity stunts in 2014.

Wagner's MBA Law of the Cost of Education

Wagner's MBA Law of the Cost of Education: Education is a better investment than ignorance; A tree planted in the mind grows for many years and bears much fruit.

Wagner's MBA Laws of Against Racist Thinking

Wagner's MBA Laws of Against Racist Thinking: 1. Skin color (or any other physical feature) is often a meaningless way to group individuals; 2. Opinions formed by averaging individuals in a group often do not apply to any single individual in the group; 3. Opinions formed based on one individual often do not apply to a group; 4. Racists often appear to be ignorant, because racist thinking produces false conclusions; 5. Friends don't let friends think like racists!

Wagner's MBA Law of Racist Thinking

Wagner's MBA Law of Racist Thinking: Racist thinking is an illogical method of forming opinions about people that is taught, learned, and assures false conclusions; it is based on the Ecological Fallacy (e.g., individuals are stereotyped to behave a certain way because they have a specific skin color) and the Exception Fallacy (e.g., groups of individuals are stereotyped because the behavior of an individual with the same skin color).

Wagner's MBA Law of NFL Football Championship Games

Wagner's MBA Law of NFL Football Championship Games: The final score is the same whether you watch the game or not.

Wagner's MBA Law of Worrying About Other People

Wagner's MBA Law of Worrying About Other People: Don't worry any more about people than they are willing to worry about themselves; you can't repair their lives for them, as the locus of control is distal to you and proximate to them. For example, you can be the coach while they are the player.

Wagner's MBA Law of NOT Landing at the Wrong Airport: People sometimes land at the wrong, but airports usually have different names, are at different map coordinates, and just ask some know-it-all passengers on the Southwest Airlines plane, if you aren't certain. :-p

Wagner's MBA Law of Enacting Positive Change in Groups

Wagner's MBA Law of Enacting Positive Change in Groups: SEE the change; BE the change; MAKE the change!

Wagner's MBA Law of American Philosophy

Wagner's MBA Law of American Philosophy: America is more of an idea without borders than a country per se -- America is a general framework for freedom in any country with the details being "in progress" -- Tyrants Beware!

Wagner's MBA Law of Uncommon Sense

Wagner's MBA Law of Uncommon Sense: Common Sense as it is frequently known would be more appropriately named _Uncommon Sense_ to indicate its scarcity and high value.

Wagner's MBA Law of Carpet Cleaning

Wagner's MBA Law of Carpet Cleaning: Remember that you are only cleaning the top of the carpet and don't get the carpet too wet, because you don't want to bring up all the "sins of the past" that are down deep in the carpet.

Wagner's MBA Law of Buffet Peel and Eat Shrimp

Wagner's MBA Law of Buffet Peel and Eat Shrimp: Peel and Eat Shrimp in a Buffet are a messy waste of time and I'm glad that we don't serve Pork, Beef, and Chicken that way!