Sunday, September 28, 2014

Wagner's MBA Law of Presidential Poker

Wagner's MBA Law of Presidential Poker: My President (i.e., P.B.O.) doesn't know anything about poker; I would love to play poker with him because he doesn't know how to bluff and then he tells you exactly what he is going to do, so you can avoid him. And, he asks the American Public for permission to do his job; this is making me crazy! Don't ask me if you should attack the "Beanie Babies" in Syria! Do it and then show me the bomb crater. You have the job of President! Stop asking for permission to do your job... Ridiculous! Sorry, that was impolite... I meant to say... That's ridiculous, Mr. President! Better.

Wagner's MBA Law of Fleeing Countries with Marxist-Themed Governments

Wagner's MBA Law of Fleeing Countries with Marxist-Themed Governments: It is the starvation, injustice, lack of freedom of speech, assembly, and religion, witchhunts, kangaroo courts, and re-education camps that are a huge hassle in Marxist themed governments... The communist party is no "party" at all. Like a Helen Reddy "The Vegas Years" Concert... Better to run for your life while you still can.

Wagner's MBA Law of Complaining about Presidential Orders to fight "The Power Rangers" in Syria and Iraq

Wagner's MBA Law of Complaining about Presidential Orders to fight "The Power Rangers" in Syria and Iraq: Complain if you must, but the pot-smoking peaceniks and cowards said the same thing during the war to defend South Vietnam against North Vietnam, China, and Russia combined... And we wonder why South Vietnam fell, when the U.S. Congress betrayed her and refused to live up to its agreement to defend her. Quit your whining and THANK GOD that you don't live in a Marxist regime, run by ugly men, wearing poorly tailored suits, with lots of guns!

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Wagner's MBA Law of the "Friend Request Sent"

Wagner's MBA Law of the "Friend Request Sent": The longer a person waits to accept your friend request, the more they needed your friendship, given that you know the person online or otherwise outside of Facebook. Sometimes you give people a break and offer them their golden chance to know somebody important and interesting... As is in: "Wow, they seem lonely and socially repressed, and, look, they barely know how to use Facebook!" and they sit there thinking about it or snubbing you? Make me laugh! The longer they wait, the more evidence that they were the socially inept wallflower you originally concluded.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Wagner's MBA Laws of Working for an Incompetent Manager

Wagner's MBA Laws of Working for an Incompetent Manager: 1. Your incompetent manager knows they are incompetent and will try to use you to look good to their manager; 2. Your incompetent manager will push blame for failures in the department to you whenever possible because they have too few successes to balance; 3. Your incompetent manager will ultimately try to include you in their paranoid delusions of everybody being against them (of course, everybody is against them because they are incompetent!); 4. Trying to help your incompetent manager is impossible (nobody is that good, not even you, so don't think you're going to tough this out), like skydiving without a parachute: a fast ride down with an unpleasant final consequence; 5. Nobody wants to work for an incompetent manager, so your peers will leave in droves; 6. Your incompetent manager will mess up your performance evaluations (remember, they're incompetent!) and thus your career; 7. Your incompetent manager will try to ruin your reputation with their peers and other potential employers; 8. Your incompetent manager can't help you become better at your job, only worse!

Friday, September 5, 2014

Wagner's MBA Laws of Fighting Terrorism

Wagner's MBA Laws of Fighting Terrorism: 1. Terrorism is "brand-building" or a "fund-raising publicity event," so don't publicize the names or likenesses of the terrorists or their groups, ever; 2. Punish the terrorists swiftly and harshly, in case someone joins them or publicizes them; 3. Relax, take the morning off, and play a round of golf; 4. ALWAYS follow laws 1., 2., and 3. in that order... DON"T JUST GO PLAY GOLF! Vacation follows work!