Wagner's MBA Law of Yams

Wagner's MBA Law of Yams: The taste of yams is acceptable when covered with butter, brown sugar, and walnuts... with some salt and pepper; meaning that they resemble the taste of yams in no discernible way...

Wagner's MBA Law of Transportation Security Agency (TSA) Screening Passengers

Wagner's MBA Law of Transportation Security Agency (TSA) Screening Passengers: If the TSA screeners are missing 95% (67 of 70) attempts to bring weapons on board aircraft, clearly it has not posed a large security threat.

Wagner's MBA Law of Hypocrisy

Wagner's MBA Law of Hypocrisy: It is better for our leaders to tell us to do right and themselves do wrong, than it is for them to tell us to do wrong and also themselves do wrong.

Wagner's MBA Law of Global Climate Change Science

Wagner's MBA Law of Global Climate Change Science: Climate change "doomers," journalists, and scientists are "flat Earth" thinkers who fail to consider the Earth as a sphere, that the Earth exists in three dimensions and time... There is a slight wobble to the Earth's rotation on its axis, so with the tilting on the axis as it revolves around the Sun each year and the wobble there is cyclic warming on one part of the globe, apart from daily or seasonal warming, solar flares not withstanding, but simultaneously the opposite is happening on the other side of the globe. [_I suppose that is the essential point of confusion; they can't always get data for what is happening on the exact opposite side of the Earth for the time period they are investigating... so they fail to consider it_] For example, melting Arctic Ice due to increased solar radiation would have to be accompanied by increased Antarctic Ice on the exact opposite side of the globe due to decreased solar radiation... climate change "doomers" are sort of having a "flat Earth" problem in reasoning... they are failing to realize that the Earth is actually a globe... not to worry... amateurs often fail to think in the three dimensions, including time and thus, they think they have the right answer, even though they are not considering all the variables...

Wagner's MBA Law of the "Giant Space Hijab"

Wagner's MBA Law of the "Giant Space Hijab": Shhh! Don't tell anybody about this terror... Watch out for the launching of a "Giant Space Hijab" that could be deployed as a massive shroud in orbit around the Earth half way to the Moon. The "Giant Space Hijab" could be the ultimate Radical Muslim Terrorist Device to create Solar Eclipses, Lunar Eclipses, and limit Solar Radiation (from periodic solar flares?) anywhere on Earth to create climate change! It could also disrupt astronomy and lunar new year festivities... I'm scared already! Seriously, in writing this semi-funny post, I'm trying to teach that the normal wearing of the hijab by Muslim women is nothing to be afraid of and I'm trying to make fun of the climate change doomers who don't understand science regarding solar radiation.

Wagner's MBA Law of Terror News

Wagner's MBA Law of Terror News: I'm done with TV news... All they do is spread terror. For me, I'm going to rely on the ONLY factual source of news: Facebook. Oh, and Wikipedia, too, which is just a slow, really slow version of Facebook without cat videos and selfies...

Wagner's MBA Law of Terrorist Attacks on Our Imaginations

Wagner's MBA Law of Terrorist Attacks on Our Imaginations (adapted from _South Park_): When terrorists attack our imaginations, our imaginations will run wild; terrorist attacks on indiscriminate civilian targets have no military significance and are a publicity event to gain press attention, attention that can safely be ignored. Now go clean your rifle or wave at a police officer, at least one of which will be helpful in a real terrorist attack.